Canada’s going to do WHAT?!

So, Canada wants to put on a really cool event, to show the visitors at a military conference held at their embassy how awesome they are. Obvs, the best way to do this is to set up a pretend Afghan village, right? Definitely! They’re going to have a pretend marketplace with pretend Afghans pretend shopping, and then, when the Canadian soldiers and US Marines come to pretend meet the pretend village leader, there’s going to be super-realistic (but ultimately pretend) IED explosions! Awesome and totally unproblematic, right? I mean, it’s not like having realistic explosion scenes in the middle of a busy city that’s only blocks away from the Capitol is going to cause some distress among the citizens who aren’t cool enough to be invited to the super-sweet pretend village! It’s not like that’s something that might actually happen since we live in a city with a huge concentration of political targets! Ha ha…?

Seriously, on my birthday, too. 😦 I’m really disappointed in how little effort the Canadian embassy has been putting into warning the citizens of DC. I heard about this through a DC blog I read, but they read about it in a Canadian newspaper. That paper says that there will be at least four explosions over two days. The whole thing is an effort to make more Americans aware of “how great the Canadian commitment is,” according to some Col. Martin.

Okay, this keeps getting better. The village is being constructed and run by Lockheed-Martin, and the explosions are being provided by Strategic Operations, Inc, “a California company that claims to bring the ‘magic of Hollywood’ to hyper-realistic training.” Lord knows, training for war needs as much magic as possible!

Also, the highlight is supposedly going to be that one of the pretend Afghans is going to be injured, and then a heroic Canadian medic is going to immediately offer first aid. Way to go Canada! You’re so tough!

Gah, this just seems so incredibly rude to me. The Canadians are angry at us Americans for not realizing how awesome they are, so they’ll show us! They’ll terrify us all by bringing to mind the visceral fear and panic experienced by millions on the day America was attacked by people bent on causing our destruction and bringing it all flooding back, without warning us that it’s not real, that it’s only a pretend, because they want us to know that war is serious and they are serious, too. We deserve it for not recognizing their incredible comittments, or something. Why else do little to nothing to alert citizens of DC, if not to raise the chances that ordinary citizens will think it’s real? This is Not. Cool. Canada.